Dear Diary
by Centauri Cruxis Angel
Summary: The views and thoughts of our favourite Feudal Gang, of their everyday problems...“Kikyo, me and InuYasha get it on sooo good that…you…well, can’t…get it that good…from…Sesshomaru’s ‘horny’ dragon…yeah, that’s right Play-Doh woman! Love and Kisses Kagome”
1. Red or scarlet? Inu's Diary

Centauri Cruxis Angel: Ok, this whole fanfic is based on the thoughts and happenings with each character in InuYasha. Of course it is a parody/humor, because I really don't see the episode; 'The Log that Sesshomaru Loved'. Thus all the guys in this are relatively horny to every living thing. But this was inspired by the famous Lord of the Rings character diaries, which I adore!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own InuYasha! And all its contents, including Sesshomaru's underwear. If he does wear some that is…………

Remember people, I am at the moment writing the rest of the character diaries and reviews would be most appreciated! Please?

Sesshomaru: NOOO! Not the paperwork again! has paper cuts all over fingers

CCA: Get in there! locks 'demon-proof (it's the same as child proof, except with a few things that spray lemon juice in the eyes) door, with Sessy inside

Sessy: Let me ou… AGGHHHHH IT BURNS! sprayed by lemon juice

CCA: Great, now that that's sorted, you can review and give me some idea's for what you want ya fave character to write about and if I should do second parts later for you faves! Just remember I don't know if you don't review! But then again I could always set my best friends fuzzy bee minions on you. NOTE: 1 fuzzy bee minion 2 wasp minion!

Lets fuzzy bee minions out they then go in a 'bee'-line at Kikyo and Jaken

Jaken and Kikyo: AGGHHHHH IT BURNS! bees are 'fluffing them to death'

………Now to the fanfic! Tally-ho!

THE HIDDEN-IN-PANTS DIARY OF INUYASHA

Entry 1

Shard Update: Found one in 2 minute noodles. Mmm, Shard-flavoured Ramen……Cruncy…

Moon Update: Howlable.

Fear that groupies/friends/who the hell are you, are lame. It consists of a short thing called Shippo who smells like cabbage, a monk (so definitely bi…) called Miroku, and a girl called Sango who's been eating deer velvet to make her really strong hope she doesn't get side effect. Also deer-velvet girl's faithful sidekick, a possessed woodchuck…err I mean, cat-demon (had strong urge to chase up tree). The only reasonable one is Kanom… Ka-gnome, no Kagome! That's right. I always stand behind her when it's windy. Hope she doesn't notice.

They're all attracted to me for only one reason; I have a big sword.

Entry 2

Called Tetsuaiga Hee! But I dream of the day where I will have proper minions. MUHAHAHA!

I want one called Bob. He should dress in scarlet and refer to me as 'Milordish Lord-like Lordy Inu, the Sexy' and give me ramen and do my nails. He should be Swedish, I have a fond affection for those people with their big han-ds.

Entry 3

No shards collected DAMN!

Moon Update: Rather tacky, cartoonish…hey wait…

Ears looking tad tatty. Stole strange looking cream out of Miroku's bag to moisturise them. Noticed later that I smell like cabbage. Fear that Shippo maybe secretly making nests in my pants. Trickly little blighter, I can't even find him in all this material.

Stupid pants.

Stupid Shippo.

Entry 4

Shard Update: One Shard collected. Found out that it wasn't shard but Kagome's last breath mint.

Accused Shippo of making nests in my pants, and storing his cabbages and whatnot in there too. He got all sooky and ran to Kagome and tried to grab a feel of her. Tried to make Kagome forgive me by cutely hugging her leg like a little kid. Unfortunately she didn't find my more primal instinct of slyly humping her leg in my humbleness cute too. Sat me pretty hard, probably to see my muscular butt flinch and become the hardest substance known to demon-kind !

Entry 5

Today…Not so bored! Ran into prancy Sesshomaru and decided to kick his arse for eating my last dumpling 70 years ago. And he blames me for stealing his style of clothing and says that I look fat in red! It isn't red, it's scarlet! I hope he likes me more now that I'm tall and handsome and don't wet the bed.

Entry 6

In the end could not kick Sess's a-hole for sake of Kagome who was afraid that Tetsuagia's attacks would make her skirt blow up. Damn! Realised later that Miroku is wearing a dress.

Handso…I mean stupid brother.

Stupid Miroku.

Clever Kagome…verrryyy clever.

Entry 7

Sesshomaru has cooler minions than me. V. bitter, since I have no minions. He always was Daddy's favourite… But green toad thing definitely gay. Definitely standing behind Sesshomaru entire time. Definitely looking at his butt. Note: Kill bootlickers of brother except cute little girl. Too cute to maim!

As Sesshomaru was leaving threw some acorns I found filled with laxatives in his bag.

That should slow him down.

Sess+ laxative acorns+ good throw Sess

Entry 8

Miroku says it's a robe.

Also experiencing jabbing pains to legs as if someone was…pulling my leg hairs out?

Entry 9

It's definitely a dress. Would it suit me? Purple dark blue/purple maybe my new colour. It would bring out the colour of my hair.

I wonder I Miroku thinks the same?

Entry 10

Shard Update: Six Shards! Go me! Uhhh…I mean…us.

Swear that Kikyo is stalking us. Probably angry about the dead rotting carcass remark that I made about her and that Kagome looks better in a short skirt than her. Or that we smell like cabbage and she's very hungry…

Bloody fan girls……

Entry 11

Ran into Naraku. Said about some crap about wanting killing us. I think he's a typical 'evil' wanker. Also could be a stalker or obsessed transvestite-fan girl of mine. It's all the same to me.

V. gay person, blue eye shadow. Shame. Puce soo his colour.

Entry 12

One shard collected: found in mutated pinecone which tried to relive Miroku of his manhood. Pine cone looked tasty.

Moon Update: Looks like pop-tart. V. hungry

Ran out of food, instead Miroku decided that we should try 'squirrel fishing' an ancient art passed down his deceased family line. Had no luck, a squirrel badly sprained my pinkie finger with a vicious acorn throw.

Shippo seemed awfully on edge with all these squirrels about, but could have had something to do with all those acorns he was stuffing in Kirara's mouth and in his pants.

Also Miroku constantly tripping and falling into me, thus making us writhe, tangle and roll over the ground didn't help either.

Entry 13

Hmm…

Entry 14

Hee!

Entry 15

My hair is sooo cool when I jump. I love to jump.

Entry 16

It looks cooler than Sesshomaru's, even if his is silkier and conditioned.

Entry 17

But maybe not as nice as Kanna's…need to think about it.

Entry 18

Maybe I should wear flowers in my hair?

Entry 19

Kagome and Sango would like, so think they are pretty!

Entry 20

Sesshomaru would be jealous because he only has embroidered flowers on his top. Score!

Entry 21

Put flowers in hair.

Entry 22

Kouga said I looked gay.

Entry 23

Took flowers out.

Entry 24

Bastard TT

Entry 25

Realised that he was jealous. Maybe Kouga is gay?

Entry 26

I wonder if he would like me if I was full demon? Does he find me sexy? Questions, questions…

Entry 27

Yes Kouga is gay; he wears a skirt…unless he likes breezes?

Entry 28

Shard update: I found one in my pants! They are like, so handy!

Moon Update: Good for dramatic standing positions after saving someone...

Decided to put rat poison down pants and glue to legs. I am hoping that it affects foxes too… that will sort Shippo out…No fox has the right to gnaw on my underwear and make nests in my pants +

Entry 29

Instead of Shippo eating the poison, Myoga ate it. Stupid insects and their strange addictions.

Entry 30

Myoga has now swollen to size of beach-ball.

Entry 31

Crap!

Entry 32

Now need to carry Myoga in backpack.

Crap!

Entry 33

Legs have swollen up to twice average size because of rat poison.

Entry 34

Double crap! Look like constipated tarantula legs. V. depressed. Legs very itchy. Cannot shave them. Afraid to look…

Entry 35

Pants hide it though.

Entry 36

Yay!

Entry 37

Swear that legs have grown heavier and look v. lumpy though fabric at the bottom of my pants. Also make strange ratting noises when I walk. I hoping that not an after-effect of my illness, since too afraid to look still. Gods hope it's not knock knees…

Entry 38

Shard Update: SHINY!

Moon Update: MOONY!

Last night had an odd dream. It was about me, Sesshomaru, Kagome and Koga with a family sized tub of banana yogurt. Never knew about variety of uses of dairy products…especially with tropical fruit too.

Entry 39

Have sneaking suspicion about v. ugly frog-demon retainer thing making nests in brother's pants. I pity him…Sesshomaru I mean. Having that warty thing slide up and down my long, smooth, silky, full-demon, masculi…ahem…legs

Entry 40

Frog thing is so hitting on my brother. V. angry, but I shouldn't worry, the possessive little girl would kill him if he tries anything.

So v. muchly hope he does now

Entry 41

Shard Update: Fell in mud. Muddy shards.

Moon Update: Uh oh……

Full moon. Turned into sexy human… not bad… but now feet hurt because I am so poor I have no shoes…wait! I'm not poor! I just don't need shoes!

I love good surprises.

Entry 42

Must make note to steal brother's credit card for irrelevant spending spree's at Kaede's Herbal Hair Products Store, and give it to Shippo so he can go to that 'Acorn-ium' that he's been pestering me about.

Entry 43

Still human. Sango is looking at me weird. Keeps on crossing and uncrossing eyes at me. Could be something to do with that 'Hypnotic Trances for Human Demon Hunters trying to Get in a Half-Demons Baggy Pants while Human; Volume I', book she was reading earlier. Still a mystery to me.

Who so knows what is in works in these saucy wenches' minds! V. 'eval' people, women…heh heh…

Entry 44

So human…Told Kagome that my large feet hurt now that I'm human. Kagome seemed really excited for some reason and planned meting with rest of human part of group. I think it was just an excuse for Miroku to grab a feel …

But it's not like I'm jealous or something……

Entry 45

Later that night found that Miroku had crawled up under the covers with me. Told him even though I have long black, silky hair, and a body to die for doesn't mean that I'm Sango. He didn't seem to mind and was v. persistent to see Tetsuagia, since he was muttering about how he wanted to see a large sword. Passed him it and he seemed disappointed. Weirdo. As if it wasn't big enough!

Entry 46

Not human! Kagome promised next time when I'm in human form she'll buy me a pair of sandals if I do her a favour, she just said to see my big sword would do. V. easy I'm getting good at transforming Tetsuagia!

Hope you liked it! At the moment I'm workin' on Kagome's diary, Sessy's diary, and almost completed Shippo's 'dairy' which clears up most of those questions about the 'pant nests' in Inu's pants, but also most of the latter characters too! R&R and tell me whose diaries you want posted and if you want second parts!

CCA


	2. Acoorns: Shippo's 'Dairy'

CCA: Wow! Very glad that people liked Inu's part of the diary! But I'm very peeved that some of the 'typed emotions' didn't show up, but I think you can just imagine how Sess would of looked like with the laxatives! Ha ha ha!

Sessy: sulks Bloody laxatives…bloody lemon spra…AAGGGHHHH IT BURNS, YET AGAIN! slumps to ground twitching

If you want to know some spoilers for later chappies go to the bottom of this chapter, and ta-daa! There they are! But make sure you read then review the chapter first…Or it's the fuzzy bee's (really need to think of my own minion (s), eh?) for you…

Disclaimer: I DO NOT……I repeat DO NOT OWN INUYASHA, and all that other stuff, but I do own 'The Fluffy Trilogy: Mummies Ate Your Cat' idea! But that's another story… But Sess…how I wish I had your fluffy pelt…sighs does sneaky eyes …………and you………muhahaha!

Sessy: whine thinks of escaping, but then remembers the lemon juice and stays put (For now…)

Thanks for reviewing my chapter almost straight after it was posted!

moonlitStarDestiny: Thanks! I actually only wrote it a few days ago after having inspiration from thinking of squirrels…AGAIN! I love those little fuzz-balls…

Legnalos: Umm, well it all started when InuYasha first…ahh, too longer story! And I'm already planning Kikyo's (she's eaten something 'strange' coughmagicalmushroomscough and now is attracted to red coloured things (gonna be a bit part with her pants…just wait an' see!) and has unfortunate run-in's with cabbages!)

medlii: Ya, it is a bit strange but my writing takes after me! The nests are in this chapter where they actually are will be revealed later… or hints in the spoilers!

Rinyie: No! Don't cry! Because then you won't be able to read the rest of this!

WritingWoman: I know I'm so 'meen'! Luv Inu and Sess, but all for the sake of a good story eh? But…'Eval' Spaghetti?

Cruxis Gypsy: I'm glad that you like the finished one! Even though you read the drafts…I finished it on the weekend! But don't forget UWK&Y&I! Ha haha!

Remember, R-ing&R-ing gets you far in life! Well, not really…but do it anyway!

I wrote a little poem inspired by it too;

R-ing &R-ing,

Keeps the doctor a-waiting!

By CCA

Hahaha!

**NOTE VERY IMPORTANTREAD ITREMEMBER MY BEST FRIEND'S BEES? I BET YOU WOULDN'T LIKE TO MEET THEM…: All the spelling mistakes in Shippo's diary are in the perspective of a little kid, and are considered jokkes and not mistooks of the author. **

THE ETREMLY SECRET AND 'ACOORN'-FILLED 'DAIRY' OF SHIPPO

Entry 1

Yu won't belev this but I am so cul. I travl wid big peple who smel like cabge. The cabge is a bit of a tun-off thou. Not 2 menshon peple 2, eh?

Entry 2

Started stashin acoorns 4 winta. I foud reli cul place to hid them. It raher smeely thou an hairi. Pulled fluff offa main support to make comfy bed. V. sofft an snugh.

Entry 3

Innu called me a 'cabge smeeling rat' 2day. Kagome 'sat' him then spanked him preeti hard. Dey den wolled around a bit and bit each odda on the ears an pulled at each oddas clwoves. I wuz glahd, butt worryed abot acoorns being damajed.

Innu Yaysa iz so meen to me. It iz not_ rite_ to treat frends dat way. Kagome iz so nice. She iz soft and sgwodgy………wha?

Entry 4

Now made atached aweas in my acoorn palace, red drapes weally good an preety. Stange smeelin pellets abit ovva turn-off thou. Smeel like drain cleaner, cud b v. dodgy to décor. Blac an red du not mix.

Entry 5

Wan in2 Innu's sexi bro, must ask him how he ceeps his hair soo silki an smoove! Innu is jealouz dat Sessy don't lik him, and want 2 b his 'frend'.

Yeh wight. An I'm da queen of squirrel-foxes…oops bad exampel…I mean ugli toads.

Butt think dat Sessy haz Kermit's ugli brotha wid him. Welli ugli brotha. V. v. v. ugli. V. v. v. v……well u get it.

Fel veri sorri for him.

Sessy that iz.

Entry 6

Toad iz sooo pervin on Sessy dat it izn't funni. But Rin will kill him if he twyies anythin.

We tooc 'Cute peples Kung Foo course' 2getta. She has good gwoin kic. Still waddling fwom last time.

Ouch. Bad memorwies.

Entry 7

Made a 'acoorn summer house' for holidayin in. A little home away fwom home! Whit décor veri nice wid little red embroidered flowa's on it too!

V. Summery, and largj, and smeels better than palace too, but bouuht air fwesheners for it, bcos like red décor…or iz it scarlet?

Can't tell.

Entry 8

Invited Myogurt to eet pellets and c if they wer stashable. Found out that dey weren't and wer actuli helium bcos he sweld up like mi in my Mr. Pink Pac Man formm. I am v. cute! Go mi Myogurt v. strange.

Neva date Myogurt. Cud b v. pervy bug…

Entry 9

Finking about settin up a Jacuzzi in mi accorn palace, butt not shure if it wood match the midle suport, mabe I shoud paint it? Mabe fuchsia cud match?

Everitime I tri to paint the support mi palace shooks! Cud bee rat infestation? Hop not…… Inshurance iz _hell_!

Entry 10

Stoopid Ramen…agin! I am v. deppressed, noodles not givin mi propa nutrients and prowtein 2 b cute!

2tally pooped to du eyelash batts, told ya not gettin enouf prowtein! V. grewlin task ovall…

Entry 11

Cosy bed growin fin, again got cul an soft fluffy stuff offa main palace suppoort, an wova nu 1! V. excited, got mor fluffy fibre than usuall!

Must start waterin it!

Entry 12

Plaied a cul game wid Mirocul 2day, I transformed inta cute fluffy boa arwond his nek and he put on sexi undiwear ova robes, and wi bof danced to screechi lady ona Kagome's stare-i-oh.

V. good fun! Mirocul v. good dancer!

Entry 13

Wuz ill ova Tetsugiga (veri big sword) at after-shoc of dancin…hopin dat Innu wont look at it 2day or wub and caress it lik he usuali does, wirdo.

Entry 14

Innu found barf-covered sword. He was veri angwy, Kagome doh comforted him.

Littl did she no that he wuz slyly humpin her leg in his sorrwoe! V. sneaki.

Took notes, hi did it skilfully!

Entry 15

Had nice little cuddle wid Sango an Kagome 2day, wite in da middle of bof.

What a luki Kitsune I am…heh heh heh………wha?

Enrty 16

Acoorns becommin a nuisance in palace, farr 2 mani. Deiided 2 move some to odda placeces…

Entry 17

Also whellised dat hav moffs in attic, and may be nibblin on any odda fabwic in palace.

But farr 2 afwaid to look, b cos v. v. smeeli up dere.

Hung extra air fewesheners 4 added suppoort, just in case.

Entry 18

2day, mi hole life chanjed!

Found mi 1 and true luv!

Entry 19

No…I hav not looked ina miwor, even doh I wudn't blame mi self…

Her name is Kirawa! Sango's frend!

Entry 20

Had neva welli had a good natta wid her but she iz soooooo cul!

Ahhh, young luv!

Entry 21

We hav bof agweed that Innu smeels like cabge, butt I cud be somfin 2 do wid the cabge air fwesheners I hung awound mi palace…

Entry 22

Kogah iz sooo triyn 2 gett Innu's sword it izn't funni…I saw him reharsin lines 2 a tree sayin 'I really wannt dat BIG sword of yars, lett me c it pleaz!'

I've ceen bigga. Realli…well…not AS big…

Entry 23

Havin good time wid Kirawa, she is so nice, but has a falt of tunin inta realli big verion of ha cute littl self. Fea dat cud not persu propa relationswip bcos of sise copraison.

Could wear cute plateforms doh…

Entry 24

Saw Naraku 2day. Seams ok…doh a bit stange, and a bit horni wid all dose kids!

But must be colua-blind bcos blu dose not suit him!

He must realli tri puce…

Entry 25

Fear dat something mayb using mi summa house for v. strange wesons. Found '10 Top Sexiest Demon Lord's' and odda swary dog-demon porny magazines…v. swared…

Entry 26

Cud b doings of ugli twoad… Hop he didn't use my loofa…

Ewwwww! I think he did…

Entry 27

Dere is green molted skin all ova it! Dats it! I'm gonna put lemon jucie spway in here or sumfin!

Dat will show him…

Entry 28

Innu acwused me offa makin nest in his pants! As if! Dey are PALACES wid lotsa acoorns!

Go mi!

But had a v. good hwug offa Kagome...Wha?

Entry 29

Gave Kirawa acoorns 2day. She seamed dissaponted, said they wernt big enuff.

Dey were HUGE! V. dissaponted, thinking that Kirawa is just usin mi 2 get acoorns 4 her own stash!

Entry 30

Browke up wid Kirawa, she was payin 2 much attension 2 lwead squirrel in group we tryed to 'fish' 4 2 day, she just liked him bcos of his big nuts.

Entry 31

As if I don't hav big nuts!

V. angry, turned inta greasy taco and mopped.

Entry 32

Fel betta! Innu was nice 2day an took me to da 'Acoorn-ium' where I bought lotsa big nuts!

Take that Kirawa! I have hummungus nuts now!

Entry 33

Thinkin of askin oot Rin on a date butt wud Sessy kill mi if I tried anyfing?

Fink I'm a bit scwared to ask Rin oot… Mayb if I get some peppa sprey 4 Sess I cud…or lemon!

Entry 34

Innu's turnda inta a sexy humen. I wud b worrin bcos I fear dat peple wud gang up on me an play wid my bid sword cuz I cudn't proteht miself!

Paw Innu, that big sword of his gets I'm into all sorta troble!

Tut, tut.

Entry 35

Don't eva undastand y Innu wuz worried aboot mi nestin in his pants. I am gonna make more homes odda places but I wonda why he wuz so touchy…

Hey whats this book… 'Innu's Diary…'

Soooo go mi.

Okay hope you R&R again, and some of the spoilers are:

Sessy fears Inu is stalking him so begins to become paranoid.

Koga doesn't really hate Inu and he's only trying to become friends with Kagome…What does that mean!

Miroku starts a strange cult, and

Kagome falls for a very 'Tetsusagia' related pick-up line!

Oh yes! Very interesting indeed…

CCA


	3. Cabbage Fairies: Kagome's Diary

Centauri Cruxis Angel: Yay! Chapter 3! God I love you guys, you know good humour when you read it! Okay, I'm happy that from my reviews I got everyone thought Shippo's diary was good, even though sometimes his writing was a tad bit hard to understand, though just think 'little kid' and it'll come easy… Mmmm, acoorns…

OH, AND I AM SOOOO SORRY THAT THIS HAS TAKEN SOOOO LONG, I BEEN SLACKING AND… SPENDING MY DAYS WATCHING FULLMETAL A. & WOLF'S RAIN IN SLOW MOTION!

Sessy-fluff: Ohh she's been slacking! Aahhhhhhhh! (Looks around to see if people are interested in his melodramatic acting) (Ohh look! They are!) IT BURNS FOR THE THIRD TIME! (Drops to the ground squirming)

(CCA takes finger of the lemon spray button, trust me it's better than 'sit'…) Its school, oh yes that pure eval stuff known as 'homework', and a variety of essays etc…I mean who wants to write an essay on an Australian song and its issues? Woah…definitely not me, but I have too…great-i-o. Especially now that I'm in High School (thinks of sending kamikaze squirrels to nest in the school to shut it down for a few weeks…thinks of the insurance though…)

Oh umm, I have also been writing another story too a cross-over between THREE anime/manga including InuYasha, Fullmetal Alchemist AND Chrono Crusade, watch out for it in a week or so, depends… It's a more serious, yet still humour, such as Ed falling in Winry's bathwater, WITH Winry in it, and Inu and Chrono both trying to be the ALPHA DEMON OF THE GROUP!

Mmm, yes just a short little thing before I start:

Acoorns are tasty!

Samus Rocks!

Ed Rocks!

Al Rocks!

Chrono iissss sooooo cute!

I luv you Sessy!

Hygiene has a nasty, hidden 'e'!

Kratos Rocks!

Shippo stores acoorns in his pants in the anime!

(Just see the bit where Inu shakes him upside down!)

Sheik rocks!

Squirrels are tasty roaste…opps, I mean, squirrels r cool!

Shippo's tail rocks!

Japan rocks!

Ed's leg rocks!

Rocks!

Socks!

Is it me or are your fave stories hard to find after a couple of days on look like jellyfish brains!

Would Jaken be attractive if I were a frog?

…Utterly doubt it……

Sends 'eval-eyebrow' birds (and I've thought of my own minion!)' to kill Jaken…

So to review responses…

demmaj: Sorry I couldn't answer your review in the second chapter because I posted it the same day! But it was a great idea! I'm using ya idea (credits for the 'Updates' goes to you at start of the chapter!), but my friend nicked it off me so now shhheeeee'sss doing Koga's diary. Sob.

medlii: Thanks! I love the 'Myogurt' idea I came up with, I thought of 'yoga' then the 'Indian' Yoplait ad! The genius of it all, though I know that Shippo's was good fun to read (though bit hard to understand, ie. Sise compraisonsize comparison). But trust me, get some lemon juice, that stuff works wonders…

moonlitStarDestiny: Fannks! Floofy squirrelz r cut! Sessy iz hott, so iz his bott! Oh ha ha hahahee! But YES! That is a great idea for Rin's! Luv the flowa ideas and embarrassing ideas and kicking Jaken's green slimy ass (included on Shippo's loofa) (eww…) if he tries anything! That is such a good idea for Rin's, I'll start tying hers after I do the finishing touches on Miroku's and Sessie's, then start the mushroom-obsessed/clay-headed Kikyo's at the same time…Don't worry, I'm a fast typer!...Well fast for a snail… I'll give you credit for your idea's posted all over Rin's Flower-Patterned Diary!

Goodness you do write long reviews don't you? But guess what, I do feel special! And yes, I too find Sesshomaru's hair unusually sexy, mmmmmm. Sess-sho-ma-rrrrrruuu. Mmmmm.

But you are not weird, because as I have said I have a thing for Sess, his hair, and his fluffy thang, so let us ride Geoffrey (that monster dude that Sess always rides on until he is sucked half-in by Miroku, but the revived by Tensagia, yay!) through the clouds and all praise Sessy and squirrels at the secret shrine of 'Du-Da'! (Waltzes off with squirrels)

Cruxis Gypsy: Yes, I know you find the 'nuts' funny and I find the 'insurance' part hilarious, but you're writing Kouga's so 'rasssssspppp' and this is Kagome's! And the last part was sooo not funny. Don't worry to everyone out there, I'm not mean to reviewers, just to THIS person 'cause she's my friend and she is sooo mean to me about Jaken. Don't ask…seriously… Oh and you can go get with Ed and Al AND Chrono and Remington and JAKEN……and the list goes on…

WritingWoman: Yes Inu IS stalking Sessy, who wouldn't…Wha? Oh yes, bloody power-hungry food…TODAY THE FRIDGE……TOMMOROW THE WORLD! But keep reviewing if you can!

Dancing Pickle: Don't worry Miroku's cult IS interesting, but the guys are trying to get with ALL the girls (but not Kaede, thank goodness!) and various logs, fluffy-'thangs' and trees….

Casui: Guess what? THIS IS KAGOME'S DIARY! Oh and cheers for the cabbages/stuffing (cough) idea! And the two reviews, was v. happy I did my special, 'Happy-cause-i-got-reviews-dance'!

Thanks to Casui who thought of Kagome's special talent/pastime of cabbage skills. How she uses this 'talent' you can only find out by reading on…MUHAHAHA!

**DISCLAIMER**: RASSSSPPPPPPPPPP! I DO NOT ……(eye-popping with stress)…O…WN……IN…UYASHA, THERE I SAID IT! HAPPY?

Entry 1

In feudal Japan AGAIN! Regular Flyer points are running very low through all this travelling, thinking of getting multi trip. 'Feudal Peeps 'r' Us' have a special on again…or maybe I should just catch the subway. It would save money on those dramatic water effects that always happen to me when I go through the well. But I fear that my travelling companions never get what I'm talking about. Their entire vocab consist of, 'ramen', 'fight', 'demon', 'mate', 'pervert', 'poptarts', 'jiggy', 'eunuch (authors note: Pirates of the Caribbean.' Remember?)', 'bonked' and 'horny'. Not sure where they learnt poptarts from though…

Entry 2

V. depressed today. InuYasha ate my homework…again! He said it smelt like Buyo and he was pretty hungry. Didn't have the heart to tell him that he ate only 2 minutes ago, and the sun that he had been watching was actually Shippo in his v. cute ball form. Time passed by Shippo: 23 hours, v. cute.

Did I mention it was cute?

Yeah, really cute!

Entry 3

I really doubt that anyone would believe, 'A dog-demon ate my homework…' Not to mention Shippo shredding it for some reason…could be something to do with hibernation?

Entry 4

Inu is standing behind me again. It's windy…………Does he think that I don't know that he's looking at my arse!

He could have just asked to look!

…Hmm? What?

Entry 5

Inu was being so mean to Shippo today! How could he? Shippo is just so cute, I gotta hug him!

Did Shippo just grope me?

Nah, couldn't of…just too cute!

Entry 6

Inu cutely apologised too! He's so nice sometimes!

Wait a sec…He's humping my leg!

SITSITSITSITSIT

God his arse is sooo fine when he tenses.

Must punish him more often…mmmm…granite…

Entry 7

Ran into Sesshomaru today. Fear that he has a tighter arse than Inu.

Need to get close enough to feel it…

Entry 8

Mmmm…granite-like…

Entry 9

WAIT A SEC THIS ISN'T SESSHOMARU!

IT'S A LUMP OF GRANITE!

IT ISN'T WHAT YOU THINK INU, HONEST!

Entry 10

DAMN FRIGGIN' GRANITE! DAMN SESSHOMARU MOVING SO FAST! I NEED TO GET SOME SORT OF CITRUS HOMING COLLAR FOR HIM OR SOMETHING!

Entry 11

Okay…deep breaths……WHAT THE? Inu's… INU'S TRYING TO HIT ON SESSHOMARU! THAT'S IT…WHERE'S MY TRANQUILISERS?

YOU MAY TRY TO RUN SESSHOMARU…OKAY, WELL YOU CAN RUN… BUT YOU CAN'T GET WITH YOUR BROTHER WITHOUT ME THERE TOO!

Entry 12

V. Sad. Couldn't get with either brother today no matter how much I stuffed my bra and put tranquilisers in their acorns that seem to be falling out their pants…

Would they be storing them?

I thought demons ate friendly, local, encyclopaedia sales men?

Oh well they were both to busy fighting naked in that mud puddle to notice…

Entry 13

Practice 'speed bra-stuffing, with cabbages' today, becoming v. skilled, hand-eye coordination going to an outstanding level! But need to note, painful if I do it wrong… I hit Miroku in the eye, see? Though I wonder what he was doing sneaking around with that leg wax? The only interruption was when that green slimy thing attached to my leg. Sprayed it with pepper spray and chucked it onto the campfire.

Would have been some good eating, if only if the fire wouldn't have died.

In horror of its 'Leg-Humpers anonymous' pamphlet reader that had just landed on it of course.

Entry 14

What the…? Was that Jaken?

Now what's he…EWWWWWWWW!

What's he doing spanking Miroku?

Realised that this is a very perverted world. V. scared.

Maybe go and caress my Inu shrine to calm down…

Mmm…granite…

Entry 15

Miroku being comforted by Sango for going though his ordeal with Jaken…He groped Sango's arse.

Glad he's back to normal and not mentally scarred or anything!

Entry 16

Feeling great remorse for Inu's brother for that deranged green loofa that follows him around, IT'S such a leg perv.

Thank God for Rin, she'll kill Jaken if he tries to get… 'bis-ay'……

Maybe I should give him a helping hand…and stick him to Sess……MUHAHAHAHA!

Entry 17

Talked to Koga today, always a v. nice guy!

He's understanding, kind, manly, manly with his manly furs, he knows a lot about mini-skirts, hair braids, fashion, talks about InuYasha, what I use on my hair to keep it nice, what I stuff my bra with, what Inu's likes, whether he could get it, whether I think his legs are smooth enough, whether he's fat, he says that I've got a great figure, if he would look nice in my skirt, whether scarlet is his colour, what he uses on his hair, what Inu's would like more manly furs, or smooth legs, if him, me and InuYasha could do hair braids together…

Doesn't he sound so nice?

Why can't more guys be like him?

Entry 18

Found Koga crying! Asked him what's wrong, and he said that InuYasha hates him.

Told him that of course Inu hates him, because you always talk with me.

Didn't seem to console him, he cried even harder muttering about.

I love guys who show their feelings!

Entry 18

Saw Kikyo snooping around with cabbages today that witch! She is just sooooooooo copying me, just because that she can't grow cabbages good! And she thinks that sheeeeee sooooooooo great because of a little tongue wrestling with Inu… So what? I can…have…vocal cord strumming… with him! Yeah that's right! Yeah, we get it on sooooo good Kikyo, that…that you don't even get it that good from…Sesshomaru's 'horny' dragon!

Oh what the hell… I'm still gonna send my secret minions on you…

Cabbage fairies…MUHAHAHAHAHA!

Entry 19

In neon green leotards and Lyra tank tops.

God I'm evil…MUHAHAHAHA!

Entry 20

Today InuYasha offered to show me how to swing that big sword of his!

Later…

I thought as well as going big, Tetsusaiga did cool attacks too…

Oh well, v. educational nonetheless!

Entry 21

Seen that Inu has taken up 'Ferret Panting' with Shippo. Looks quite fun, Shippo constantly scurrying in and out of those pantaloons of Inu, holding v. cute acorns. Though Inu never gets in the proper swing of things and it always ranting about hidden acorns and nests, plus I don't think he realises that Shippo is really into it since he's in there most of the time…

But fearing that Inu maybe spending too much time with acorns.

Entry 22

Chucked acorns in river. So long suckers! InuYasha's mine, all mine…my preccioussssssssss……

Eh…wha? Sorry 'bout that…

Heard a strange wailing/growling/hacking noise, sounded upset!

Entry 23

Noticed later that Shippo was gnawing on my leg.

Poor thing! He's teething!

Must buy him chew-toy in shape of an acorn since he's so fond of them.

Entry 24

Miroku acting rather strange today.

He was carrying around a boat paddle and ranting about making the Erotic Spanking God's happy with a sacrifice.

People these days! They look fine when there are things to eat, but after a few days of eating these pink and purple mushrooms they turn out to be right nutters.

Now where have my precious rutabaga fairies got to?

Entry 25

Miroku came up to me today muttering about wanting to see huge mountains.

I handily offered to help him, and he cheered up a fair bit!

But when I pointed out these gigantic peaks in the distance he seemed sort of let down.

Weirdo. They were the biggest mountains I'VE seen.

Entry 26

Today helped Sango with her traps that she's set out to snare demons.

They're quite ingenious actually, the 'cupcake-in-the-clearing-while-we-wait-in-the-bushes-with-tranquilisers' was the best.

Had heaps of fun when Sesshomaru came into the clearing for the squirrel-cupcake, and we tranquilised him.

Entry 27

I have to say he looked quite pretty with those ribbons we added to his hair.

And the curled hair.

And the high-heels.

And stuffed bra.

Heh heh.

Entry 28

Believe that Miroku is wanting to become 'better acquainted' with InuYasha.

Entry 29

Keeps on say that he wants to see a 'big sword', and let me tell you that Inu has the BIGGEST sword I've ever seen!

Entry 30

It is in my duty to see that Inu keeps Tetsusaiga away from Miroku and any other object that Miroku can get those dirty hands on!

Entry 31

Took InuYasha through well to get away from Miroku… Chucked cabbages back through to severely maim him.

Hit him in groin…YESSSSSSSSSS!

Entry 32

Believe that Inu is still not safe from fangirls/fanboys/fanthings/fanlofas even in my own world. Found Souta trying to hum Inu's leg innocently. Noted on his outstanding sneak-i-ness factor before I v. angrily through one of my fairies down his pants.

That should keep him busy…

Entry 33

Today Souta taught Inu a new word. Oh yes this is gonna be really beneficial for him…

Condom…

Really gonna kill Souta…

Entry 34

Oh man…Inu's just asked me if he can have one!

They never teach you about this in school!

Okay, where's my cabbages?

Entry 35

Ewwww! He's asked me if they're tasty…

'Well they…come…in…all different flavours...'

'Ramen?'

'No…no ramen flavoured ones…'

'Awww……Do they come in…catnip?'

Inu is so perving on Buyo. Gonna kill Buyo for stealing Inu's pervs, which SHOULD be MINE!

MUHAHAHAHAHA!

Entry 36

Oh, though must check if my fairies have brought me any of Kikyo limbs…

All in a good days work I think!

So did you like it? Heh heh heh, now don't forget to R&R… And look out for my 'coming soon' (not actual name… or size) story and the next chapter!

Preview of one of Miroku's entries…You lucky peoples you!

Sango and Kagome made me and Inu do our punishments today. I mean, where do they come of with the, 'do the washing' punishment, 'massage our feet' punishment, and 'do Kagome's homework' and 'mud wrestle naked together while we watch' punishments. Come on where do those two women come of with the homework! I can't even do alg-er-bra!


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